known iguana thief

astro/tanrine 🐸 bi 🐸 in this house we stan maribella 🐸 icon by pyrofleurs 
12:33 7 January 2019357370

milkee-way:

grimeclown:

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

image

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

12:23 7 January 2019668

dawnokeefe:

the fact that a child working in the industry tweeted her support for a film directed by a pedophile and people’s knee-jerk response is to “cancel” her and bully her on twitter instead of thinking “this is a vulnerable young person in need of protection who should be educated on the situation” i hate these fake woke letterboxd 26 year olds who measure their own compassion by the media they consume instead of how they fucking treat people FUCK YOU

12:00 7 January 2019329

nimkey:

I had a feverish dream while napping about a machine that separated sentences into “good” and “bad” pieces. I remember just enough of what I saw to recreate this important chart for you all:

image
9:42 7 January 20191

GLASS TIME BAY BEY

9:00 7 January 201929057

I was a security guard at a major art museum

thebiscuiteternal:

thelastdogfighter:

Over the course of my time there:

-A woman came in with a skirt made of neckties. Just. Neckties, all strung together to make a skirt. She had leggings on underneath, thank god.

-Been asked for the Mona Lisa

-Been asked for the Sistine Chapel

-Been asked where the dinosaurs are

-Been asked where the animals are

-Been asked for “The Bitch With The Pitcher” (Vermeer’s “Woman with a Water Pitcher,” by the way)

-Been asked for “The Girl With The Pearl Earring”

-Been asked for the Mona Lisa

-Got bored and learned the name of every single one of the Buddhas

-Got bored and learned the name of five Chinese dynasties (long day in Asian Art)

-Chilled in the Buddha room

-Watched someone escorted out for trying to take a nude photo in the Arms and Armor section

-Been asked for the Michelangelo’s, then the Raphael’s, then the Leonardo’s, then the Donatello’s (they were naming ninja turtles)

-Heard curator in Musical Instrument section play Night On Bald Mountain on giant historical pipe organ while laughing maniacally.

-Fielded a day when a filthy counterfit version of the museum program was disseminated among visitors, guiding them to the filthiest art in the museum – such as the painting of Cupid peeing on Venus

-guarded Cupid peeing on Venus

-Been asked for the Mona Lisa

-Been asked if I had seen the First Lady of Mexico (she had gone missing)

-Been asked for that one sculpture of Kronos that is featured in Percy Jackson WHICH DOESN’T EXIST GUYS (directed children to sculptures of Poseidon with trident instead, children were very happy)

-Witnessed two Secret Service Agents get into a swordfight with pieces of packing material.

-been asked by a very polite Fransiscan monk in full brown robes if he had found ‘One of us. He has gone missing.”

-Found missing monk and returned him to the herd

-Coworker was asked for the Ark of the Convenant

-Same coworker was asked for the Baseball Hall of Fame

-stopped about 15,000 people from poking that one lion statue in the nuts

-saw a woman in a banana suit with banana shoes take a picture in front of an Egyptian temple

-Been asked for the Mona Lisas (plural) 


I’ve got more but this is what I remember for now.

I would have paid money to witness the Night on Bald Mountain incident.

8:24 7 January 2019607180

voidbat:

carsonphillips:

when my mom took care of babies my favorite story is about this toddler named eli who took a while to talk and everyone was concerned about it but one day my dad was like “eli, can you say ‘car’?” and he looks at my dad and goes “yes, i can. why do you ask?” 

my ex boyfriend’s first word was “mother” - followed by “i’d like another bottle of milk please.” - kids who don’t talk until they can bust out a whole sentence are the fucking greatest.

8:14 7 January 20192

ON MEDS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE DECEMBER 12

7:56 7 January 20191358

Ohio doctor fired by hospital after saying she would give Jews 'the wrong meds'

queertilly:

mishpacha:

golvio:

surprisedentistry:

image

Originally posted by heckyeahreactiongifs

Save lives: keep nazis and white supremacists out of healthcare and away from patients.

I’m honestly not sure if you read the article or not, but the woman fired was Palestinian Arab and not white. There’s nothing in her tweets that said she identified with white supremacy. And yet, despite this, she had said that she wants to give Jewish people the wrong medicine, that the Jewish people she saw at the airport “looked like settlers”, that she thinks it’s pointless to study the Holocaust (because, to her, the Jews are doing the same thing to Palestinians the Nazis did to them), among other things. Your comment is incredibly unhelpful because it incorrectly identifies white supremacists as the only promoters of antisemitism.

This is leftist antisemitism. She used the language of the left to excuse and permit her violent antisemitism, and that’s how she got away with it for so long. This is why leftist antisemitism is particularly frightening; because it poses as radicalism to fly under the radar. It goes straight from “I’m not antisemitic, I’m anti-Zionist” to “I’m going to poison Jewish people and justify it by calling them colonizers.” This is why Jews have been BEGGING non-Jewish leftists to examine themselves and their rhetoric for antisemitism.

7:55 7 January 201928064

shadowgale96:

Disney animators: Awe, this will be a cute little Easter egg to put in the movie

Die hard Disney fans mapping out conspiracy theories, multiple universes, timelines, and assassination plots:

image
7:50 7 January 20191885

theeforvendetta:

jamaicanblackcastoroil:

earthshaker1217:

mamaduafe:

flawless-joi:

image

This is why no one listens to vegans. Why do this to CHILDREN?!

LMFAO what the fuck is wrong with vegans, just let the kids have a pleasant holiday without you opening your weird ass political mouth.

That’s like me putting a bullet and a picture of a dead guy in the toy to discuss gun violence like…. no bruh

Not only that.

If they have organs from an animal, then that means a few possibilities.

1. They bought said heart and liver from a butcher which means they financially contributed to the industry.

2. They stole said heart and liver from a butcher or somewhere which means they broke a law that would surely affect the workers there in a negative way.

3. They killed a duck to get said heart and liver, which means they killed the animals.

All three scenarios go against the supposed ethics of their movement

Make it make sense

^^^^^

“Make it make sense”🗣

Σ